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I am not sure if this was the case all over the world, but my high school was loaded with druggies and alcoholics. Not saying I did not partake in a little partying now and then, but the more I recall those four years of memories, the more I find myself thinking we were all degenerates. From sneaking booze into classrooms, smoking joints in the locker room, I am surprised the cops weren’t there every day dragging kids out by the ears. Of course, there was one day where it came pretty darn close.
My high school years were surrounded by nuts. Freshman year, we were welcomed to the school by a screaming nut job vice principal who was way too excited about the job. He corralled us into the gymnasium for a big kickoff ceremony, and by that afternoon we all hated him. By sophomore year, we figured out the ins and outs of the building, where to go for certain things you needed or wanted, and that was just the way it was. You would think being a Catholic school would be filled with innocent little school kids, donned in uniforms, looking perfectly clean cut and studious. We couldn’t have been farther from that image. We could point out the girls that would eagerly give head under the bleachers of the football field, the ones that would get so trashed they couldn’t tell you their name, and those were the ones you wanted to party with. By senior year the annoying vice principal had been fired for trying to touch a few male students, a female teacher was arrested for sleeping with a lot of students, and Hard Copy was there almost weekly capturing it all.
But one of my fondest memories that senior year was the last day of school. There was a class-wide party planned, and where else would it be but directly on the front lawn of the campus. I was not part of the planning crew, but I had a few insiders I was good friends with, and I got a hold of the inventory list. Several kegs, a good amount of happy smoke, and almost every senior in the student body was coming. As class let out that day, only exam week stood between us and freedom. I waited at a buddy’s house down the street from school, and by the time the sun had set, the roadies had the kegs going, red cups were passing around everywhere, and the smell of cannabis was wafting through the air.
I set up ground with a group of people, and we stood in a circle shooting the bull, downing beer after beer, and having a good time. I found out I was one of the more tame ones that night, however, when I took a little stroll to release the alcohol that was imbibed. First, we stumbled across the bushes that covered a kid getting head. Nothing spoils the moment more then someone about to take a piss on you in that position, so I decided to find another tree. I went from the tree to an awkward moment of what appeared to be a mini gang bang with one of the easiest girls in the class. I swear, it was something out of Eyes Wide Shut. Feeling left out, I tried without any luck to hook up later that night. Unfortunately, all the easy ones were taken for the evening, and I refused to play sloppy seconds. I spent the night in my car, sleeping off the beer induced coma.
When the sun just barely began to rise, I awoke to a few kids that apparently never stopped partying streaking loudly across a neighbor’s front yard. Rubbing my eyes, I got out of the car, trying to regain my bearings, and could not believe the sight. The lawn in front of the school was covered with empty kegs, red cups, trash, and a buddy of mine passed out along the bushes with his pants still at his knees. Glad to see I never took a leak in those bushes after all. A few girls were vomiting over along the statue of St. Mary across the campus, and I stood and watched in amusement for a few moments. But nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see next. Our guidance counselor, who was just fired on the last day of school for being nearly incompetent, was standing no lie, in his boxers, pounding a 40oz bottle of Crazy Horse. I did a double take, unable to process what was ten feet in front of me. I didn’t say a word as I looked all around hoping I was not the only one witnessing such an event. If I had a camera, I would have already had a few shots, but sadly the image was left in only my head. It still is pretty haunting today.
I will say, out of all the parties I have attended throughout high school, that one was the best. It is still talked about today, nearly 13 years later. I am not too sure what ever happened to that guidance counselor. I am sure he is working at another school somewhere. Too bad camera phones weren’t around, or else that picture would be posted all over the internet.
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