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I have to admit it. Being the oldest sibling definitely has its advantages. One of the biggest advantages is the sheer enjoyment that I got from torturing my little sister 2 years younger than me. Over the years there are many fond memories of these events and I’ll recount a few of them below.
When I was 5 years old I thought it would be a fun game to unbuckle my little sister’s car seat and push her onto the floor. So of course I proceeded to do so and started giggling as I watched her squirming face down on the floor stuck between the seats. The humor quickly left when my mother pulled off onto the side of the road and wore my ass out.
When I was 10 years old I was a huge fan of the Nightmare on Elm Street and Jason movies. I had seen everyone multiple times. One day I came up with the brilliant idea of acting like I was Jason to terrorize my little sister. So everyday for a few months I would grab the biggest kitchen knife we had and would start making the chu chu chu chu ha ha ha ha sounds while walking forward with the knife raised.
Of course my sister let out a blood curdling scream every time. I would stop after 15 seconds or so and tell her I was just kidding and she would calm down. Then once she was calm I would do it again. Leading to even more screams of terror. I would do this 3 or 4 times before I had my fill for the day. To this day I don’t know why the cops were never called with all the screaming she did because she thought I was going to murder her.
When I was 16 I was a tennis fan of Andre Agassi. I used to hit a tennis ball off of the side of the house for hours on end practicing my game. One day I got my little sister to play with me. We were taking turns hitting the ball against the wall. If you missed the ball, you lost.
One return I made barely hit the wall, which cause my sister to run up near the wall to make her return. She did so and the ball came back perfectly to me. She saw that I was lining her up and she took off at a full sprint across the front of the wall. As the ball got to me I jumped up into the air and hit the ball as hard as I could with a picture perfect Agassi forehand with complete turn and follow through.
I, of course, was not only aiming at her, but aiming at her face. I hammered the ball and it shot off of my racket and proceeded to nail her squarely in the face. She collapsed to the ground and started crying. My immediate thoughts were holy shit I actually got her face. As she got up and made her way inside to tattle on me I tried not to laugh.
As much as my sister insisted that I hit her in the face on purpose I insisted it was a total accident. My mom took my side thinking it was highly unlikely that I could make a shot like that. Little did she know that I could and I did.
Ahh being a big brother. There are disadvantages of course of being first born, but I wouldn’t do it any other way if I had the chance. It is much better being the bully than the bullied.
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