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When I was younger, I worked in a bar for fifteen years. This bar was what most people would call a dive, with old wooden floors that had cigarette butts stomped out on them. It was located in the same neighborhood where many of the employees and the regulars grew up in. I personally grew up three blocks from the place. So we were all good friends and had been so for almost twenty years.
One of my oldest and dearest friends was this guy who I will call Jack who lived about six blocks away. He had a rule that he would never drive home once he had drank more than three beers. He would leave his car and walk home, although at least once a week he would “order a pizza.” The pizza place across the street was owned by another bar customer who also grew up with all of us. Jack would order a pizza and ask for it to be delivered to his house. He would wait about ten minutes and then walk over to the pizza shop. When the delivery driver was ready to leave with his pizza, he would just climb in the car with him and both he and the pizza would be delivered to his house.
To begin with, Jack would just leave his car overnight and pick it up the next day. Then the bar started to have Karaoke on Thursday nights. Jack began coming in for a drink on Thursday nights as well, and would leave his car until Friday. He would come to pick up his car in Friday afternoons, and would run into to the pay day crowd and begin drinking again. The car would end up sitting parked again. Saturday the same thing would happen. So most weekends, Jack’s car would sit outside the bar from Thursday until Sunday.
This went on for several weeks. Finally, I was at the store picking up supplies for the bar and noticed those little black For Sale signs sitting by the counter. I waited for Thursday night and sure enough, here came Jack. He left his car that night as well as Friday night. When I opened the bar Saturday morning, I wrote down his phone number on the For Sale sign and placed it in the window of his car. I then just sat back and waited for the fun to begin. It didn’t take more than two hours for Jack to call the bar. “Hey, does someone have my car for sale? I’ve had about ten phone calls in the last hour making offers on it,” he said, asking if I had anything to do with it. I said, “I put it up for sale. As often as it sits here, I figured that you had no use for it.” He laughed and just told me if anyone stopped in asking about it that I should take the best offer I could get.
Jack eventually did sell the car later on and didn’t even give me my cut. If that is not selfish, I don’t know what is.
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