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<title>SagaByte / Michel / All</title>
<link>http://www.sagabyte.com</link>
<description>SagaByte rss feeds</description>
<pubDate>Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:05:23 -0400</pubDate>
<language>en</language>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[Adult Store Job Interview]]></title>
<link>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/adult-store-job-interview/</link>
<comments>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/adult-store-job-interview/</comments>
<pubDate>Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:05:23 -0400</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Michel</dc:creator>
<category>SagaByte</category>
<guid>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/adult-store-job-interview/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[I had just moved to San Diego for school and I needed a job, badly. I was applying for everything I was even remotely qualified for: waitressing, bartending, receptionist, lab rat, etc. I was hitting up every job source I could think of. Unfortunately, my class schedule nixed most of the openings for me and I could barely get an interview for the rest. It's not like I'm a loser going after jobs that I could never getI had the proper qualifications for all of the jobs I applied for. It's just that a couple thousand OTHER people were in the same boat I was in.While checking out the want ads in the paper one day, I ran across an ad for a clerk at an adult shop. Now, I am a pretty open minded but can be terribly shy. I caught myself thinking that this could be an interesting and learning experience. The hours were great, the pay was a hell of a lot better than nothing, and my student loan wasn't going to continue covering tuition, rent, and food for long.So, I went for it. I emailed my resume to the shop (it still kills me that you actually needed a resume to work there.) Naturally, I was asked to come in for an interview. What do you wear to an interview at an adult shop Do they expect you to wear the &quot;outfits&quot; they sell Will I look too out of place if I wear my normal interview clothes Finally, I decided on slacks and a nicer shirt and off I went. I find the place, go inside, tell the clerk who I was and proceeded to wait about 10 minutes for the manager to make his way down from his office. I was pretty certain he was up there watching me through the security cameras, soooo, I tried to play it cool and do my best to browse the items without halving my eyes bulge out of my head!!He finally graces me with his presence and proceeds to give me the three dollar tour. We start at the front and work our way to the &quot;rooms&quot; in the back. I was thinking that I could actually do this job until he informed me what the rooms in the back were for. APPARANTLY, people (mostly men) could rent videos to watch in the privacy of the rooms in the back instead of taking them home. Ok, ewww, now I would know exactly what they were doing in the secret rooms back there. Oh well, I guess it has to be done somewhere rightWell, I had convinced myself that this was cool UNTIL he told me that it would be MY JOB to clean up after each movie session!!! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! Could anything even BE more disgusting!NO WAY IN HELL could he pay me enough to clean up the GIZZ from all of those men!!! What if I accidentally touched some of it Unh-uh, no sir, not this little chickie, NOT gonna happen.Needless to say, I did NOT get the job, did not broaden my horizons, and did NOT clean up old man gizz.<br/><br/>4 Vote(s) ]]></description>
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<item>
<title><![CDATA[Learning to Drive]]></title>
<link>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/learning-to-drive/</link>
<comments>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/learning-to-drive/</comments>
<pubDate>Wed, 12 Mar 2008 08:56:30 -0400</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Michel</dc:creator>
<category>SagaByte</category>
<guid>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/learning-to-drive/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[It was a few months before I turned 16, I had a car waiting for me once I got my license (1982 Toyota Starlet courtesy of an older sister who had moved onto other wheels) and life was going pretty well. The only slight problem I could see was that my car had a manual transmission and I only knew how to drive an automatic.But, I had been practicing with my imaginary clutch and gas petal on the passenger side of the car ever since my sister first got the car. I also knew how to shift the gears because my sister would let me shift for her when she was in a good mood. Okay, so I didn't get THAT much practice at it but I am a quick learner. The only thing making me nervous was that my dad was going to be the one to teach me to drive the standard. My mom refused to teach anyone else how to drive after my sister almost killed us all when she was learning. So that left me with dad, who is a cop and drives like a cop but expects you to drive like Ms Perfect Driver.It was show time, my dad was off of work and I was going to drive him to the gas station about 3 miles away. In theory, it sounds pretty easy. I put the car in gear and went to start our adventure and promptly spun rocks and dug into the gravel driveway. My dad hates it when people do this to his driveway. He kept his cool but told me very firmly to take my time. So, I tried it again..and spun out again. Somehow I finally made it to the end of the driveway with only a handful of spinouts and only a perturbed (not angry) dad. I thought things were going pretty well. By the time we made down the gravel road to the actual black top road, I had mastered first gear. Unfortunately, I was informed that I was not going to drive all the way to the gas station in first gear. After moving on from the stop sign (its much easier with no gravel) I attempted to go into second gear, which was pretty easy, until I let off the clutch.We started rocking back and forth violently and there was another car coming on the other side of the street so I pushed the clutch back in to stop the rocking. It worked! But now I had to start all over again from a stop. So, I go through first like a pro and go onto second..and the violent rocking starts again. Like the rocking in the car (which I KNOW is not supposed to be happening) isn't enough, I have dad over in the passenger seat yelling at me to &quot;give it gas.&quot; So I give it a little bit of gas but nothing happens. He's still yelling at me so I stomped on the gas pedal. It worked but now the damn car was sounding like it might keel over. He fussed at me to shift to third. I did and everything sounded much more normal. Until we came to the next stop sign..can we all guess what happened when I took off from the stop signLucky for me, there were no more stop signs on the way to the gas station. But there was a right turn in which I apparently went just a smidgen into the other lane during the turn. Well holy cow, from the yelling that went on in the car you would think that I just ran over a small child or something (note to self: stay in your lane NO MATTER WHAT.) When we finally got to the gas station, I calmly pulled next to the pump, got out, stood at the back of the car and got a severe nosebleed. My dad came back from paying for the gas, accessed the nosebleed and then had the nerve to ask me when I would be ready to drive back!!! As if I was ever going to drive HIM around in the car again!!!<br/><br/>3 Vote(s) ]]></description>
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<item>
<title><![CDATA[Under the Mistletoe]]></title>
<link>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/under-the-mistletoe/</link>
<comments>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/under-the-mistletoe/</comments>
<pubDate>Mon, 10 Mar 2008 01:03:09 -0400</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Michel</dc:creator>
<category>SagaByte</category>
<guid>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/under-the-mistletoe/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[When I was a senior in high school, I was one of the seniors chosen to work in the main office for an hour. This was a coveted opportunity that only a handful of students got. Instead of class for an hour, we would answer phones, sort the mail, deliver announcements, do anything else the office staff didn't feel like doing and still get school credit. It was a sweet deal.One day during the holiday season, I was delivering announcements to all of the classrooms. I loved delivering the announcements even though it was kind of repetitive: knock, knock here you go have a good day then onto the next door to do the same.As I was leaving one of the senior English classes, the door opened and one of the guys from the class was coming in as I was going out. Now this was no ordinary guy, he was one of the jocks. You know the type: out going, good looking, on the football team, on the basketball team, had a nice car, etc. I, on the other hand, was quite introverted, dowdy, and frumpy. ANYway, we were there in the doorway of the classroom when everyone, teacher included, started oooohh-ing. I wasn't sure what was going on until someone pointed above our heads. Hanging there was a cute little piece of mistletoe. I stared at it for a moment with my heart thumping in my ears then looked at Mr Jock. He was looking at me and I knew what he was thinking &quot;there's no way in HELL this is happening with HER.&quot; I was beet red with embarrassment and just kind of smiled at him (you know the &quot;I'm sorry, please forget you ever saw me&quot; kind of smile) tucked my head in my shoulder and walked out of the doorway to escape before anything else embarrassing could happen.<br/><br/>4 Vote(s) ]]></description>
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<item>
<title><![CDATA[The Talent Show]]></title>
<link>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/the-talent-show/</link>
<comments>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/the-talent-show/</comments>
<pubDate>Sun, 02 Mar 2008 00:05:17 -0500</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Michel</dc:creator>
<category>SagaByte</category>
<guid>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/the-talent-show/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Back in grade school we had the school wide talent show. I don't remember if participation was mandatory of not but my friend and I decided to do a dance. We had our parents buy matching skirts and shirts for us and we started coming up with our dance routine. We chose the song &quot;Tell It To My Heart&quot; by Taylor Dayne. Okay, you can stop laughing now..remember, this was back in the late 80s.Anyway, we had the tape of this song and played it over and over while we came up with our dance routine. And let me tell you, we practiced every afternoon after school for a couple of weeks.So the day finally came for the first round of the talent show. The first round consisted of acts from each grade competing against each other and then the winners would go onto to compete with the winners from other grades.Other kids in our class were doing square dancing (which was pretty good), singing, magic acts, twirling batons and stuff like that. But nobody was doing the kind of act that WE had planned. We were doing a modern dance and were going to put everyone to shame!!!Finally, it is our turn. All of the other students in our grade were in the lunch room waiting for us to come out. The pressure was on! We walked out into the middle of the lunch room and nodded for our music to start.After a pretty uncomfortable few seconds the music started and we started doing our thing. We were shaking it, head swirling, grooving, and rocking the house. Everything was going great and then we were at the big finale in the dance..the jump. Okay, here's what was supposed to have happened: she would kneel and I would leap frog over her with my legs spread out into a split and land with feet together in a crouch. (This was pretty intensive stuff for two little fourth graders with no gymnastics training or anything.)My friend was kneeling and I got my running start, just like the umpteen kagillion times we practiced before, but I guess my adrenalin was pumping because I caught some serious air when I leap frogged her. I was still able to pull off the split but instead of the cool ass landing.I face planted right there in front of the ENTIRE fourth grade. They erupted into uncontrollable laughter while I did the walk of shame off the stage.<br/><br/>4 Vote(s) ]]></description>
</item>

<item>
<title><![CDATA[White Pants]]></title>
<link>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/white-pants/</link>
<comments>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/white-pants/</comments>
<pubDate>Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:00:08 -0500</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Michel</dc:creator>
<category>SagaByte</category>
<guid>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/white-pants/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Would you like to know why you will never catch me wearing a pair of white pants Some might think it is because I tend to spill things on myself or get dirty 5 minutes after I get dressed. No, the reason is MUCH better than any of that.Way back when I was in the seventh grade I would wear all kinds of clothes, even white pants. One afternoon in history class, I was asked to erase the board for the teacher. So, of course, I went up and started erasing the board like any little do-gooder would.One of the cute guys that sat in the front row called me over to him and whispered that I had something on my butt. I tried to look but couldn't see anything, so I tried to wipe whatever it was off but couldn't feel anything. So, I went over to one of my girl friends and asked her if there was anything on my butt (because you know how boys arehe could've been messing with me.) She told me I was all clear so I went back to finish up with the board.The cutie pie guy called me over again and told that I really had something on my butt. Of course, I didn't believe him and thought that he was just being a boy but he was very insistent. So I asked to go to the restroom so I could find out what was going on.In the restroom I found that he was not joking around with me and that my girl friend was blind. I indeed had a bright red spot on my butt of my white pants and was properly mortified as any seventh grade girl would be.  You see, it was the end of &quot;that time of the month&quot; and apparently the panty liner wasn't enough protection when my body decided to start the flow again. I thought about hiding in the bathroom for the rest of the day but knew that I would eventually have to come out and face everyone again. So I pulled my shirt down as far as it would go which wasn't very far, went back to class, thanked Mr Cutie Pie for letting me know and went to beg for a sweatshirt to wrap around my waist from my friends.And THAT was the last time that I wore white pants. Good enough reason, don't you think<br/><br/>6 Vote(s) ]]></description>
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<item>
<title><![CDATA[Movie Watching]]></title>
<link>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/movie-watching/</link>
<comments>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/movie-watching/</comments>
<pubDate>Thu, 28 Feb 2008 01:54:54 -0500</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Michel</dc:creator>
<category>SagaByte</category>
<guid>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/movie-watching/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[One night me and one of my girl friends went to pick up a guy friend from work so we could hang out. He ended up having to work late and gave us the keys to his apartment to wait for him. He mentioned that he and his roommates had rented some movies and we should go keep ourselves occupied instead of watching him work.So we went to his place and started to check out the movies. We had never heard of any of them and the descriptions weren't very detailed. We finally picked a prison movie to watch, got our popcorn and drinks ready and settled in for the show.One glance at the opening scene and we could tell that this was a very low budget film. After the opening credits rolled, we finally got to see two actors. One was dressed as a prison guard and the other as the inmate behind bars and everything. At first they were talking and it was pretty obvious that we weren't destined to see the ending of the movie. Just as we went to turn the movie off, the guard and inmate started going at it through the bars. AND I DON'T MEAN FIGHTING!!!!We were like deer in headlights. We couldn't move for a minute but then found ourselves oddly curious about how they were doing what they were doing. I could barely believe some of the positions we were watching. Finally, we broke out of the trance and started laughing. The movie was turned off and that was our first and last experience with a gay porno.<br/><br/>2 Vote(s) ]]></description>
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<item>
<title><![CDATA[Unexpected Chew Toy]]></title>
<link>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/unexpected-chew-toy/</link>
<comments>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/unexpected-chew-toy/</comments>
<pubDate>Wed, 27 Feb 2008 01:19:09 -0500</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Michel</dc:creator>
<category>SagaByte</category>
<guid>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/unexpected-chew-toy/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Back when I was in high school, I would look forward to the weekends that my sister would come home from college. On one of her trips she decided to bring her boyfriend to meet the family. Since we knew she was pretty serious about him, we were on our best behavior so that we didn't scare him off.We did the normal thing with guests: go out to dinner, actually make breakfast (instead of the fend for yourself that usually happened), eat at the table as a family, you know the drill. Everything was going quite well and we were in the living room relaxing and chatting when we noticed my mom's Chihuahua vigorously attacking a toy of some sort. We tried to ignore him and continue our conversation but he was really going at it. Mom went over to check him out, picked something up and came over to me. She held out her hand as if to give me something and then dropped a tampon hanging out of its wrapper into my hand saying quite loudly that &quot;I believe this is yours.....&quot;Everyone (except me) cracked up laughing, with my sister's boyfriend laughing the hardest and loudest. I was absolutely mortified!!!<br/><br/>4 Vote(s) ]]></description>
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<item>
<title><![CDATA[Im NOT Clumsy!]]></title>
<link>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/irsquom-not-clumsy-1/</link>
<comments>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/irsquom-not-clumsy-1/</comments>
<pubDate>Thu, 21 Feb 2008 18:24:53 -0500</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Michel</dc:creator>
<category>SagaByte</category>
<guid>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/irsquom-not-clumsy-1/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[So, my boyfriend and I were camping in Sequoia National Park, which is home of the largest living thing on Earth, the General Sherman. There were many obstacles to surpass on the drive up (which will be future stories here) but we were finally enjoying the beauty of the park. Just in case you've never been there, this park is up in the mountains. Like waaayy up in the mountains. Anyway, we were out hiking and came across a lookout point. I'm from Louisiana where the highest you can get is the Mississippi River Bridge, so of course I wanted to go out and look. We trek out onto the huge boulders, which was way cool, until we were about 20 or so feet from the ledge. It was absolutely beautiful. Spread out before me was another mountain that seemed to stretch as far as I could see. The boulders on top were similar to the ones I was now standing on, the trees were jetting out of the sides of the rock and the entire scene was just gorgeous. Since I was standing on a boulder on top of a mountain and I could see what the side of the other mountain looked like, along with the seemingly sheer drop, I wondered what OUR mountain looked like down the side. Did I mention that we were on top of a mountain Well, there were no rails or anything so I didn't think that it would be dangerous or anything. Because if it were dangerous to the point where people could DIE you would think that there would be a rail or, at the very least, a sign. So, like any other curious cat, I inched out to the edge to look down and see what was down there. My boyfriend was busy enjoying the view and I guess didn't notice what I had done until I was peering over the edge. Me: &quot;This is sooo cool, it's a sheer drop with maybe a few trees and stuff like that.you should come see!&quot;Bf: &quot;I think you should come back here, you know how clumsy you are.&quot;Me (outraged):&quot;I AM NOT CLUMSY. I'll have you know that I have very good balance. Besides, I've never fallen off of a cliff before, so there.&quot;Bf: &quot;Baby, its like a 10,000 ft drop. If you fall, I'm gonna have to tell your dad that I let you look over the ledge of a 10,000 foot cliff. They're gonna think I pushed you. He's gonna kill me!&quot;Me: &quot;No he wouldn't....okay maybe he would. But none of that matters cause I'm not gonna fall. I have good balance!!!&quot;Bf: &quot;Baby. Please. Come. Back. From. The. Edge.&quot;Me: &quot;Okay, fine. Sometimes you're such a stick in the mud. Are you sure you don't want to look I'll hold your hand..&quot;Bf (in a pretty nasty tone): &quot;BABY!&quot;Me: &quot;Okay, okay&quot;So, I very carefully (since he's being such a ninny) turn and start to make my way back to him and wouldn't you know it.. I tripped on a f-ing rock like two feet away from the edge.Bf: &quot;And THAT'S why I told you to come back from the edge!!!&quot;I guess he's never heard that nobody likes an I told you so.<br/><br/>3 Vote(s) ]]></description>
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<item>
<title><![CDATA[Home Alone]]></title>
<link>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/home-alone/</link>
<comments>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/home-alone/</comments>
<pubDate>Tue, 19 Feb 2008 13:28:58 -0500</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Michel</dc:creator>
<category>SagaByte</category>
<guid>http://www.sagabyte.com/SagaByte/home-alone/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[I had just returned home from watching a movie with one of my girl friends. It was a psychological thriller and had me pretty freaked out. Honestly, it had me so antsy that I double checked to make sure our security guard was on duty that night. Once inside my apartment, I checked all of the rooms on the way to my bedroom to make sure there were no crazed serial killers waiting in the shadows. Once in me bedroom, I felt safer as I had my two fierce and vicious attack kitties with me. I turned on the television to some fluff program to get my mind off of the movie and relax. The three of us were lying on the bed passing the time until my boyfriend came home when one of the cats perked up and looked at the doorway. He was staring at the door like he was waiting for someone to walk by.Did I mention that I had just watched a freaky psychological thriller K, so I immediately turn down the volume on the tv and start thinking of what sort of weapons I have handy. Meanwhile, the cat is still staring intently at the door and even sneaking a little closer to the end of the bed. I heard a faint noise and I finally decide that I will jet into the closet if something tries to come into the room. The closet is a perfect choice because it has two doors so I would be able to escape (unless he kills me) and there are all sorts of dangerous goodies in there like hangers, belts, purses and shoes.I hear another faint noise and am on the edge of the bed ready to run for it when I hear someone coming down the hall. I'm now in my sprinters stance on the edge of the bed with my heart beating so loud I can barely hear his footsteps when he finally makes his way to my door. I glance toward the door to see who I am about to beat the hell out of and look straight into the eyes of our very nice and totally non serial killer roommate Joe.He, having no clue that he just took 10 years off of my life, says &quot;hi&quot; and goes on to his bedroom. I manage to mumble &quot;hey Joe&quot; and ease back onto the bed feeling guilty for almost attacking my poor, innocent roommate.<br/><br/>3 Vote(s) ]]></description>
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